I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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