Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish I only lived at night.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
