I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
