lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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