If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
