i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
