last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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