he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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