do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
