Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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