he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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