Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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