In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize