I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's the barista slut.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
