He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
