Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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