When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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