At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
