You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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