I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
