we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize