no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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