That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
