I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
