He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
