Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
