This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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