and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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