Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
