What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
