I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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