Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
