Jerry, you need to find god
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
