well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
