If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
