you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
