All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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