sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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