I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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