hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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