***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
