goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
