i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
