Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
