I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
