i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
