every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
