Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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