Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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