finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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