if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
