Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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