I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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