I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
