ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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