Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
