Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
