just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
