i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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