like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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