How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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