I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The power of my boobs compel you
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
