I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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