just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
