went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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