That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
