barbara walters just said penis...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
