How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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