Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
